A \"calling\"...

Bet51987 · Post by **Bet51987** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:31 pm

Dear Diary,

Last Saturday I performed at a wedding that was held at my church. I was one of three church singers that made up a mini chorus for a full Catholic wedding with all the trimmings and a huge guest list. We stood at the side along with the pianist and during the service we sang eight of the traditional church wedding songs that they had picked out. One of those songs I had never heard before the rehearsals. It was a psalm called \"Loving and Forgiving\". It's a beautiful song that was performed by the 26 year old baritone with me singing as his accompaniment. He sang that song so beautifully and with such deep feelings that he was bringing me to tears. My mind began racing around and my eyes were jumping to that dang crucifix, the bride and groom, the baritone and my dad, but before that song was over, I knew that my college, my career choice, and my boyfriend were all history....

It was all over in an hour. I talked to my dad on the way home and he supported me like he always does. My boyfriend wasn't so nice but I can't take his mental abuse anymore. He has problems that I won't discuss but I'm the type that requires affection...not abuse... and I'm not going to let him drag me down. Last came his parents. I love them a lot and that was the emotional part of the ordeal because they had visions of us being together. However, they understood and I will always see them at church.

I left college, and in September, I start at a nursing college that is 15 miles in the opposite direction. They said they're accepting and I have top references, desire, and money. I visit next week. Has anyone else had such a sudden \"awakening\"? What was the \"trigger\". I really would like to know.

Here is the song that sounds pretty much like we sang it...

http://www.imeem.com/genesis2choir/musi ... ssopermp3/

I also have something else I want to say about Blue Falcon but I'm too choked to discuss it right now....

Bee

Cuda68 · Post by **Cuda68** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:47 pm

Nursing is truly a calling. It's allot tougher than you can possibly imagine. While the money is very good, you will spend most of it on rehab or really good shrinks. Most of my family are nurses, and have been for a few generations now, and they are all messed up in one fashion or another. Think real careful on this one and look into it more, talk to nurses you may know about what they deal with day in and day out.

Tunnelcat · Post by **Tunnelcat** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:40 pm

Cuda68 is right. Nursing may seem like a way to really help people in need, but right now, fewer and fewer nurses are taking on more and more of the work load as hospitals try to cut costs. You might want to go and actually talk to some nurses and see how they like their jobs and what difficulties they are running into with our failing health care system before you jump into the fire. I admire your desire to go into the field however. Caring nurses are really in short supply and patients need them.

Duper · Post by **Duper** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:34 pm

hmm. yeah nursing is tough. It takes a certain kinda person to do it well. Also, I guess it depends on the kinda nursing you do. ER/triage, care facility ..nursing home, retirement etc., post Op. There are all sorts of fields within nursing.

I'll parrot Cuda68 and say definitely look into it and set some standards for yourself as to what you want to do and not want to do. I was in nursing for several years and it can take a tole. Take plenty of time off and recoupe. Its hard to do when you are caring for people, but make the time. It's hard when you lose people, but the reward is worth it and seen within the families you help.

If you know in your heart that this is what you are to do, go for it. It would be a shame to be frightened off and always wonder about it. Personally, I'm still considering it.

As for a stop the clock calling? I'll pm you about it. It's a bit too personal to post here.

grizz · Post by **grizz** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:40 pm

My oldest son is an EMT, and in the last phase of his training to be a field medic in the military.(Sewing up people on a battlefield)

He's had to work emergency rooms a lot as part of his training. I would advise hanging out in one all night before you commit too deeply.

My 12 year old daughter, whom you have played D3 with on occasion, is dead set on being a nurse, maybe more, in the medical field. It's a good calling, but you really gotta have the stomach for it.

I've had to patch people up on forestry crews who tangled with the wrong end of a chain saw, but I don't think I could do it all day, every day.

There's nothing wrong with changing your mind about what you want to do with your life at you age though. Heck, I'm 51 and still trying to decide what I want to do when I grow up.

You seem to have a consistent desire to help people, whatever form it takes, and thats hard to fault.

[RIP]Machete_Bug · Post by **[RIP]Machete_Bug** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 12:18 am

My step-daughter is a nurse. She used to work in the neo-natal ward with premature babies and stuff. Very emotionally demanding job, not to mention some long hours. Though one thing about those long hours -- if you're willing to put them in, you can make some very nice money for yourself too.

Though it sounds like you have an affinity for music, too. Perhaps a performing arts diva...

Foil · Post by **Foil** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:44 am

Wow, that's awesome to hear, Bet. There aren't enough people in the world who genuinely feel a desire, much less a calling, to help others.

I do think there's been some good advice here to "look before you leap"; there are lots of different options within the field of nursing. My Mother is a nurse who works with the elderly, a friend named Mike is RN specializing in heart issues, just to name a couple. After you check things out, I do think you should go with your heart.

Bet51987 wrote:Has anyone else had such a sudden "awakening"? What was the "trigger". I really would like to know.

I'm not sure mine happened as suddenly as yours, but during graduate school I felt a definite calling to become a high-school teacher in a low-income area. Over a short summer, and to the dismay of my advisors, my plans changed from "Maybe I'll go on and get my PhD" to scrambling to get certified as a teacher and finding a position.

I don't know if there was a specific "trigger moment". It was more like the accumulation of a number of moments for me, like during a Calculus class I was teaching as a Graduate Instructor, when students would say "Ah! I get it now!"

The issue was, that in my haste to follow this call, I really wasn't ready. Academically I was certainly over-qualified, but because I hadn't gone through much training as a classroom educator, I wasn't prepared to handle the difficulties I encountered. Anyway, after a year, I was already burnt-out. I was often coming home frustrated, and my wife sometimes saw me in tears. Feeling like I couldn't help these kids the way I wanted to just tore me up, and to this day I haven't felt able to return to teaching (though I'm starting to feel the pull again).

...You know, even with that difficult an experience, I can't say I regret it. I think I would have regretted more if I had avoided it.

I suppose the point is to follow that call, but make sure you prepare yourself for what it entails.

CDN_Merlin · Post by **CDN_Merlin** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:10 am

Here are the steps to find out if it is your calling.

1) Cut finger.
2) Look at blood, if you faint, see option 4. Otherwise, goto 3.
3) Proceed with course.
4) Choose different profession

Good Luck bet.

Testiculese · Post by **Testiculese** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:45 am

Correction to step 1:

1) cut finger OFF

Kiran · Post by **Kiran** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 3:28 pm

Well Bet, I had a strong desire to go into Accounting. During the first year of college, I was doing great. Right at the end of the 2nd semester, I became very sick. Spent the whole summer with some post-illness complications and recovering. After that, I seem to had worked much harder than before to make good grades in school. Information I've obtained I have struggled to keep absorbed in memory. My desire to spend time studying was gone. I tried going from community college to university and back to a community college again. For each time I started doing well in my core classes, I kept getting really sick from the stupid common cold. After trying for 2 years, I've decided to settle for an associates degree in Business.

The illness I had rather impacted my perspective on things. It took me nearly 2 years to realize this. I no longer cared about staying in school and landing on a great job. I only stayed because I knew that I needed the degree to get a decent job so we don't worry about money. There seems to be another calling for me, something that is related to my mom who, from time to time, would say that I was here for a reason... I have impacted a few people's lives already. Good job on recognizing the call, Bet. For me, the calling has been too blurry for me to figure out what it is. Maybe it's meant to be like that for now.

BTW... lol@ merlin's post

dissent · Post by **dissent** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 6:55 pm

Bet51987 wrote:... my eyes were jumping to that dang crucifix, ....

yeah, that dang crucifix; it's somethin', ain't it?

My boyfriend wasn't so nice but I can't take his mental abuse anymore. .... and I'm not going to let him drag me down.

good for you. nobody should have to put up with abuse.

AS for the nursing, you've already had several good suggestions. If your heart is really in it, then go for it - we need all the good nurses we can get. But make sure it is for you; and keep in mind that there are quite a number of different kinds of nursing, so you may have to research around a bit and ask lots of questions. Good luck to you.

Bet51987 · Post by **Bet51987** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 8:10 pm

CDN_Merlin wrote:Here are the steps to find out if it is your calling.

1) Cut finger.
2) Look at blood, if you faint, see option 4. Otherwise, goto 3.
3) Proceed with course.
4) Choose different profession

Good Luck bet.

I have no problem viewing blood

and even witnessed a bone sticking through a leg once. No, I have no problems there. Working at the park I've seen a few broken teeth and peeling skin on knees.

Cuda68, tunnelcat, Duper... I can go to the hospital and ask a few of them. My dad said that nursing school would tend to weed itself out quick but I plan on having deep roots. I would like to deal with a hospital floor setting or like Duper said, a care facility. I like working with the elderly and still go to the senior center once a week for a few hours since they kind of adopted me a few years ago.

Grizz, Machete, Foil.... I already know I can't emotionally work in a children's ward or hospice but I know I can handle pretty much anything else and since the money isn't a high priority to me I'm free to choose the area that best fits.

Kiran... I hope that blurriness clears for you, or maybe it's masking another calling. I always knew I wanted to work with either kids or the elderly and I chose special education. Then, after a year and a half, my true calling hit me while listening to a baritone. Keep your eyes and ears open.

Dissent... I always loved the man on the cross...

Testiculese.. Only after you cut your throat.

Bee

snoopy · Post by **snoopy** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 8:29 pm

My sister's a nurse at a children's hospital. She loves it... the only downside is the odd hours, in her mind.

Dedman · Post by **Dedman** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 5:12 am

My Mom was a nurse for over 30 years. She loved it. She knew she wanted to be a nurse since she was about 4 years old, so I guess she had a \"calling\" as well.

She went through nursing school in the 60's when you actually lived at the hospital in dorms. One thing I learned through her experience is that nursing school by itself isn't enough. You need to have a degree in nursing if you really want to go as far as you can. Besides, if you don't have a college degree (if you've only gone to nursing school) you will not make very good money.

Good luck. It's an awesome profession. My Mom always said that she saw people at their worst, at the end of their lives, and in great pain. But in the end knowing that she was helping them through all that was worth all the bad stuff she had to witness.

Capm · Post by **Capm** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 5:52 am

It takes a special kind of person to be a nurse, not everyone can do it. I applaude your gumption and determination and conviction. A calling is like a special request right from God, kinda like shining a light on a dark path \"Oh now I see!\". Good luck with it

On a side note, I have callings all the time, but then my wife smacks me and tells me to stop daydreaming. (I'm just joking here)

SirWinner · Post by **SirWinner** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 11:27 pm

Bet,

Best wishes on the Nursing Studies and career.

SirWinner

P. S.

I married a manic depressive \"Bipolar\" lady that masked it quite well... Years later she became very mentally and physically abusive to me. So it finally got to the point where staying in that environment wasn't in either of our best interest.

Didn't know beforehand that she had the condition until several years after we were married. DOH!

If your boyfriend is mentally abusive to you now... IF you get married to him later... don't expect it to \"magically\" change.

Spooky · Post by **Spooky** » Sat Jul 19, 2008 6:28 am

Canuck · Post by **Canuck** » Sat Jul 19, 2008 10:58 am

Putting up with abuse of any sort in a relationship is not healthy. I too have dated some \"winners\" but luckily found out before being married, but I do see people battle it out for years and years usually because they have big hearts, and they are not happy people.

Change is part of the human process and starting anew is a good thing. I'm glad you are able to talk to your Father and had the courtesy to talk to everyone involved. Pursue your dreams and keep dreaming new ones

Good luck Bettina.

Kilarin · Post by **Kilarin** » Mon Jul 21, 2008 10:04 am

My mother-in-law is a nurse. It's a TOUGH job. It requires someone who actually cares to be able to do it. I think you could be GREAT at it Bettina!

Testiculese · Post by **Testiculese** » Mon Jul 21, 2008 7:03 pm

I think you missed the point, Bet.

Cuda68 · Post by **Cuda68** » Mon Jul 21, 2008 7:08 pm

Testiculese wrote:I think you missed the point, Bet.

Yea, but she knows where she wants to put that point

Testiculese · Post by **Testiculese** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 5:20 am

What?

woodchip · Post by **woodchip** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 7:05 am

Testiculese wrote:What?

Some people are truly slow. Reread your post Testi and then reply.

Bet, if the moron boyfriend you have now is being abusive when he should be trying his utmost to win your heart, then he deserves to to be knee sac'd.

Testiculese · Post by **Testiculese** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 12:41 pm

I'm just a little confused on Bett's desire for me to have my throat cut, after I merely posted a correction to Merl's list of how to determine if she is nurse material. A cut finger is the least of the challenges faced in a hospital. I just sat with a friend going through a bone biopsy, and it is excruciating. Not for the delicate or weak.

Duper · Post by **Duper** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 1:25 pm

I think it was a \"you go first\" kinda response. and where being delicate is concerned\"

I have no problem viewing blood and even witnessed a bone sticking through a leg once. No, I have no problems there. Working at the park I've seen a few broken teeth and peeling skin on knees.

If she is going for an RN or LPN (if they still have those in her area) she will have to work on cadavers and other such things. So, there will be time have her metal tested.

I'd be more worried about the book work personally.

woodchip · Post by **woodchip** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 3:33 pm

Testiculese wrote:I'm just a little confused on Bett's desire for me to have my throat cut, after I merely posted a correction to Merl's list of how to determine if she is nurse material. A cut finger is the least of the challenges faced in a hospital. I just sat with a friend going through a bone biopsy, and it is excruciating. Not for the delicate or weak.

You suggested in essence for Bee to cut her finger off to see if she had the calling. Bee suggested you cut your throat. A fair response I'd say.

Dedman · Post by **Dedman** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 7:59 pm

Here is a good test to see if you have what it takes to be a nurse (at least \"stomach\" wise). Have an intoxicated stranger defecate and vomit all over you while verbally abusing you. If you want to be an ER nurse that is but one of the scenarios you will have to get used to.

Bet51987 · Post by **Bet51987** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 8:31 pm

Testiculese. I was treating your post defensively. I remembered the remarks you made about me commenting on the direction my country was taking while not being in the military myself, and when you made your blunt comment here, I just put them all together. No harm intended. I've had a big change in my life this week.

Thanks to the rest of you for the boyfriend advice. I didn't want to hurt him but he's changed. He treats his parents badly, hangs around with the wrong people, and began demanding more than I was willing to give. He's good looking and a really good kisser too so I'm sure he will have another girl very soon. I'm going to wait until he does before I go out with someone else.

P.S. None of you are turning my stomach with the cadaver talk...yet.

Dedman, I can take that without a problem as long as I can take a shower afterwards. My biggest problem is going to be my emotions and being able to handle myself since I only weigh 103 lbs so I need to talk to the college counselor. There's also an added benefit. When my dad gets old, I'll be taking care of him.

Oh well, I'm glad you're back Kilarin.

Bee

Duper · Post by **Duper** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 12:27 am

Bet51987 wrote: P.S. None of you are turning my stomach with the cadaver talk...yet.

Bee

Not meaning to. Changing the dressing on a bed sore is far worse than cutting someone (dead or alive) open.

It's all part of training.

Kilarin · Post by **Kilarin** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 7:26 am

Bettina wrote:I'm glad you're back Kilarin.

Thanks! Can't stay away from the descentbb for very long without getting the shakes...

Sedwick · Post by **Sedwick** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:46 pm

Bet51987 wrote:He's good looking and a really good kisser too so I'm sure he will have another girl very soon. I'm going to wait until he does before I go out with someone else.

Why even wait that long? You deserve better--DTMFA!

Kilarin · Post by **Kilarin** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 11:13 pm

By the way, nursing IS a field where you can do a test run. Hospitals accept young volunteers as help, traditionally called \"candy strippers\". Check out a couple of local hospitals and see what they would let you do as a volunteer (since some modern programs only allow the volunteers to do clerical work due to insurance issues)

TechPro · Post by **TechPro** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:40 am

Kilarin wrote:"candy strippers"

Ah ... actually, that is "stripers", not "strippers".

I don't think Bet would do the "strippers" thing.

Kilarin · Post by **Kilarin** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:54 am

TechPro wrote:Ah ... actually, that is "stripers", not "strippers".

UGH!!!!!!!

Sorry about that. Spelling was always a poor point for me. When I was in college I wrote their very first spell checking program. I wrote it because I so badly NEEDED it.

Honest though, it was a stupid slip, not a Freudian slip!

<sigh> Some idiocies the spell checker can't save you from.

Thanks for catching that.

Unfortunately, and through no ones fault but my own, now the image is planted in my mind. And the next time I visit a hospital, I'm going to have a difficult time not imagining volunteer strippers dancing around IV stands and sending shocked cardiac patients into atrial fibrillation.

Perhaps that's why some hospitals keep the candy "strippers" working in the clerical section.

Krom · Post by **Krom** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 8:50 am

Haha, depending on the quality of the strippers... I might not want to get better! XD

TIGERassault · Post by **TIGERassault** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:34 pm

Bet51987 wrote:I'm going to wait until he does before I go out with someone else.

Umm... I don't quite see why you want to do this... but here's to hoping that he isn't thinking the same way you are; otherwise, you're gonna be stuck for a while!

Kiran · Post by **Kiran** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:27 pm

Maybe she's trying to avoid the drama of dealing with an ex boyfriend ruining her date? Probably him going out with a different girl is a sign that he won't be bothering her. Depends on how the end of their relationship went down.

....

Why am I even trying to interpret her life?

Bet, good luck with your life.

Bet51987 · Post by **Bet51987** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:45 pm

No, I'm not going to strip

but I'm already looking into volunteer work. I did it for two weeks at the childrens hospital once but only going room to room delivering sheets and towels. This time I would like to tag along with a nurse if I can. If not, I can watch while delivering.

This may sound like a reverse guilt trip but I don't want to go out with anyone right now so his parents don't think I left him for someone else. They've always greeted me with open arms (literally) and I see them in church so this is a little easier for me. I have my hands full now anyway.

Bee

Didn't see your post Kiran...thanks.

Cuda68 · Post by **Cuda68** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 8:03 pm

Bet51987 wrote:No, I'm not going to strip

I am sooo disappointed

Bet51987 · Post by **Bet51987** » Mon Jul 28, 2008 8:50 pm

I took the college tour with two other girls today and I liked all of it. During the one-on-one meeting that lasted an hour I was given the line \"You have the exact qualities we are looking for in a nurse\" which my mind immediately translated to \"This car belongs in your garage\"...

They want to see me again tommorrow.

The comforting factor is that if I don't heed the calling I can go back to my other college and I don't lose anything except some time. I don't see myself going back but it feels good knowing I can.

Bee

P.S. Dakatsu. Your post in the teacher thread helped me more than you know. Thank you very much.

A \"calling\"...

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